July 16, 2020

How Can You Improve Mother In Law Relationship?

One of the challenges that women face is in handling in law relationship, particularly relationship with a mother-in-law that is tough to deal with. Some mother-in-laws relentlessly criticize their daughters-in-law for very trivial matters.

Most of time, they did it blatantly, and even publicly. Most young women these days find it hard to put up with the unreasonable demands, extreme expectations, and long hours of nagging. Heck, she isn’t her mother to even begin with!

However, if you want your marriage to stay in harmony, it’s best to learn up some skills to deal with your tough mother-in-law. Unless you’re dealing with a psycho, here are some tips that you can make use of from today to improve your relationships and develop a bond with your mother-in-law.

Top 2 Reasons Why Mother-In-Laws Behave Unreasonably

1. Fear- This is self-explanatory.

She sees you as a competition for her son’s love. Mothers fear that their son would no longer love them as much compared to when he hasn’t married you. This thinking is inevitable, as she has gone through a lot of hardships raising her son. She fears that she will no longer play an important role in her son’s life and will be ignored forever. To her, you are the biggest wall separating her and her son.

2. Love- A mother’s undying love for her son will sometimes lead her to act unreasonably towards her daughter-in-law.

As the chances of her son moving out with you after getting married is high, she’d expect that you would take over her role in the family. That being said, she expects the best for her son and her son’s family, and that expectation would naturally be passed on to you. Her standards on you would be high.

What Can You Do To Manage The Mother-In-Law, Daughter-In-Law Relationship?

Well, the first thing is you’ve got to get your husband to reassure his love for his mother, so that she stops coming after you! Next, it is your role to play:

1. Acknowledge her sincerity- Regardless of whether you feel that she’s just being unreasonable or she did it for the better of her son, treat that as if it comes from her sincere heart. Acknowledge her and make her feel that she’s important in both your husband, as well as your heart.

2. Be wary of how you respond- Remaining quiet, walk off, or ignoring her is not the best way to manage an in law relationship.

Try to be more tactful in your response. Assume that she’s sincere in her suggestions and communicate with what’s in your mind. If you find her suggestion makes sense, tell her that you’ll do it. Otherwise, explain to her your way of thinking. Try to make her understand that you’re doing it for the best of the family. Try to seek a compromise. Always consult her in certain areas before making up your mind.

Try to make her feel that she’s still important to both of you even after you’re married.

3. Behave like an adult- If you want your mother-in-law’s respects, behave like an adult.

Undeniably, many women still address their mother-in-law as «Mom» or «Mother» and that works very well to develop a good relationship with your mother-in-law. Try not to address your mother-in-law that if your relationship is already sours to begin with. Addressing her that would make her feel superior, and the oppression will never end. Another way to behave like and adult is not being defensive or justifying anything when she confronts you with an issue.

4. Treat her as if she’s your own mother- If you are a smart woman, do not give the opportunity for your husband to choose between you or your mother.

If that happens, chances are your husband would choose to side your mother, and that again, would make you look inferior to your mother-in-law, and thus degrading your image further in front of your husband. But if you are able to treat your mother-in-law the same way your husband would’ve treated her, your husband will appreciate your efforts and love you even more.

Although the conflict is between you and your mother-in-law, the determinant factor of solving this lies in your husband. If your husband does not communicate his love for his mother well, regardless of what you do, the problem of in law relationship will continue to be in existence.